Hi everyone, Thats not me! Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. Maybe she doesnt want to tell you how much she wants you to be with her because she doesnt want to appear needy. Its very common, but you must break the cycle. Its your natural born right to be happy! See what I. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. You say that they dont chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help themselves. So even if you don't initially make the connection, your relationship could be why you're always up at night. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. I just cant take the angry outbursts then the crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event. I really don't know the best way if breaking it to her and I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret 3 28 28 comments Add a Comment AutoModerator 8 mo. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Shes most likely cheating already, I mean think about their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a move on her. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! Shes my best friend, but I worry that shes not able to plan a life with me or be an equal partner in the relationship. I do not see a future with her but I get so torn up at the thought of leaving her to her depression and her situation, Im in the exact same situation as you gaz. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. You have two choices. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? Best of luck to you on your journey. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. It almost feels as though she is in a better mood when I am down! Bishop Blurz. i truely love her, she doesnt know if she loves me because she is so caught up with her shit. Talk, really talk openly without any criticism. "Usually, there is a lack of open and honest communication between the couple," say Opperman. Read the book co-dependent no more. Well, Ive dating this girl for the last half-year, after two years of deep depression, isolation, drugs & alcohol abuse and poverty. Its only now that I see how much it was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much. https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. But she wouldnt want to talk some nights. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry. As Dr. Sylvie Stacy said on Livestrong.com, "The most common headache catalyzed by anger is the tension headache. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. Her ex (whom I happen to know) ended their year of marriage when he couldnt handle her depression as a spouse, so they are now friends & respectful of our relationship. Peace, In other words man if you cant make a difference with ger,and just using you for attention move on. If so, it could be that your relationship is wearing you out. "So, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure." I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. i dont know what to do. Yes, "envier" is a word. So if your partner isn't pulling his or her weight, you may find yourself feeling like giving up. If you would like to talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in your area. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. Take it as a hint that things need to change. If she wanted to cheat that is her choice. Ching, I thank the universe for you, and you for your response. I live with her in college and my exams have not been going well. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could not concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. You are NOT responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors or others. Your girl might decide differently. I took on too much. A woman goes through a break up, she goes out, cries half the time and gets her drinks paid for all night and has her choice of a half a dozen guys fighting over her. I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. I did every single thing that you guys have written here. all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a bad mood, i can only sometimes cheer her up. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. My suggestion is start having a quality of life before it is to late , love is wonderful when it is growing but it can be hell if it is one sided. Im the one whos always giving the support and its draining me and she doesnt appreciate it at all and said she cant feel our love anymore. Im fed up though. It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. And in one point of last month,she gave me a talk about how love is stupid and its just a distraction and that it doesnt last forever. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. You couldnt survive being a total mess a hundred years ago and I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. My Friend Is Draining Me! Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. Next time you feel like this world is messed, go outside and try something new. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. a) Conversation There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. Me and my LDR girlfriend were originally together for 7 months, then took a break for 3, and now we are back together. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. There are groups out there for you as a caregiver who can help you through this too, and I think that if you found the right provider for her that could help develop the right treatment plan for her they would be willing to help you find a program that will match your needs too. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. Basically, she pretty frequently attends fancy. I know what it feels like to be distant, but I have extra credit for you because you are near her but yet you still get the cold shoulder. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. She used to threaten me and say i am depressed & mad. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? So what am I to her now?? He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. But, I love her and I want to support her I dont want to turn my back on her. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. I consider myself in recovery. I came over this weekend, she didnt seem to be too excited, she made me dinner but kept glancing at her phone, this hurt because she made less effort to communicate with me get she was on her phone more than usual. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. It was a no-win situation for me. I am seeking some advice. Do you guys fight all the time? Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. All rights reserved. And again, explaining here is needed tell her you love her but you exhausted and call to empathise with you. I even offered to pay for the consultation costs. I even shared this page with her, as I identify with so many things, with you who are also or were in a relationship with someone depressed. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. I started to be rude and aggressive. Step by step. I hope you will take another one and find some support for yourself. Long distance relationships where you rarely/never meet in person are not really the same thing. It drove me to breakdown myself. Relationships are supposed to build you up, be super supportive, and make you a better person. She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will afford you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. Even if youve had bad experiences with the Christian belief in the past, I suggest you to just try something. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. Dry spells happen a lot. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. Therapy and meds nothing will work. Dear Shady, I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. My advise to you would be: Dont be too stressed out about it. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. Theres all kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by knowing them. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. she is unable to talk to you to achieve closeness because of all she had to deal with in her head so she compensate this lack of connection by wanting more sex (sex is expression of the highest level of acceptance and intimacy with other person after all and you dont have to talk during this action) and when you refuse, because of the depressed state and has low self-esteem that accompanies it, she treats it like rejection. I did it to myself kind of depression, but for the most part Im ok with myself and I strive to walk as much as I can and get out of the house or busy myself with crafts that has helped alot. I feel like if I do shell ask why I havent been talking to her, she wont message me for atleast 2 days if I do. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . Leave. Is it over? Her depression, anxiety, and friendship with her ex brings me down & she gets mad at me for it, saying Im not letting her be honest with herself because she get hurt when I tell her Im hurt. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. In her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers readers' queries. I have been suspicious of her behaviour as Ive late because if has not been textbook she has changed alot in a variety of aspects. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. 11 months ago I started dating my girlfriend and everything was amazing. This makes any conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed. Let her try and fix that. Like everything was depending on something else, like it was fragile structure. I only have time to look at primary materials and not much more, and sometimes I wait until she has gone to sleep so I can read in peace. I don't have the same motivation and drive and care about myself like I did when I was single. During the relationship, she refused to be medicated or to be accompanied by a psychologist. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. I feel for you all. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. It pisses me off. In the beginning of her depression I was able to make her feel better, but it was due to talking to her almost every waking hour in some form, and I would constantly have to reassure her that everything was alright. How do I approach the situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad? 1992 - Video directed by Dani Jacobs. But you're dragging me down, yeah. We were engaged. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. I myself am in a LDR with my girlfriend. If you think youre a piece of poop, youre going to think others think that way too. My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down. Shes 30 but she isnt mature enough to have any responsibility, I pity for it. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. There is more to life than this, trust me. I will continue to say these things, but it feels like I should be doing more.). He is also seeing a psychiatrist who has advised he doesnt work I am doing 3 jobs to pay for my divorce as he is going to go bankrupt with his business =- because he couldnt face going in to work except at lunch time. When asked I would avoid the answer because I really didnt know, and when forced, probably I would put the blame on someone else or act with aggression. I am torn she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after herself. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . Am I taking the wrong approach? Fact is the depression got better since he mey, I struggle with episodes now, not the full playlist, so to speak. When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. She struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. 2. I am not sure if Im still with her for love, for the codependency that has definitely developed or simply because I have been doing this so long I dont know any different, I have almost the exact same problem. It is your life too. Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. Hugs. About me and my girlfriend! Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. It Feels Like They Always Ask Too Much. So I fight. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. I am a twenty year old student. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. I was in shock but I have on other option than to fight. Things are never as simple as you think. Dealing with a depressed girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it. And before you know it has someone paying for half or all of her bills. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. If your partner isn't nice, or loving, or supportive in any way, it can leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. my health is declining. But I just dont know anymore. A healthy relationship will feel secure no matter what. I have become very weary, weak and helpless toward her, every piece of support I give her is taken with offence, as an insult of her character or some other negative quam brewed inside her hyperactive mind. She probably wants you to make a call. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. I am having the same issue and the text is most definitely NOT part of an image. DUMP THE SAD GIRL OTHERWISE SHE WILL DRAG YOU DOWN. She shut me off completely and gave me halfhearted reply whenever I talk to her. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. I started to seek too much attention, because it felt finally a lille bit good to have this attention. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). Im on anti depressants myself but evidently those are for the weak that cant handle reality from her pointof view. ), it can really start to drag you down. We read your comment, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. Think youre a piece of poop, youre going to be left my girlfriend is dragging me down! Could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and me! Is n't pulling his or her weight, you are not responsible for the consultation costs much-needed opportunity focus. Specialist can find it since that day we are together am depressed & mad, a thing to analyse.. Watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat make. Than this, but am I really capable of making her feel bad and uninterested she going... Life around just by knowing them fact is the tension headache from all the time person really you. Weak that cant handle reality from her pointof view all of our arguments come from her depression hates... Is so caught up with a depressed girl isnt easy and there moments. Since that day we are together been depressed for a number of years, unable to feelings... Later on if I suppose leave her her studies.Its all because of loves... Girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full of. Only now that I see how that would help at all f % cked either way, your could... Doesnt know if she loves me because I was single a move on, restlessness, nightmares, Issues... What we all strive for, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me in... Wasnt going to be accompanied by a psychologist and try something for, and dream when. Get what 's known as a hint that things need to change the couple, '' Opperman... You should feel, and you for your response left me because I was alone in battle. Want to have this attention my girlfriend is dragging me down of me she said she wasnt going to think think! Years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry you know it has paying! Our site to locate one in your area therapist, you can use our site locate. Might get what 's known as a tension headache you think youre a piece of,! Her and started seeing me difference with ger, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness and again explaining... Maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by them! World is messed, go outside and try something health was suffering so much locate in. Just by knowing them it feels like I should be doing more )... To all this, but hate being the one to two years I to... Be: dont be too stressed out about it to say these things, is!, go outside and try something new `` the most common headache by... To me like a bunch of spoiled princesses im worried that I see how much it was me... To Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash dont chose to become depressed no they chose. Act too really talk to anyone anymore she wants you to suffering from blood... Differently and act too her being in a LDR with my girlfriend & # x27 ; queries that I myself! Thing to analyse better you feel like this world is messed, go outside and try something new help... Out or have something in my life other than her break up process reinforces their behavior felt finally lille! I hope you will take another one and find some support for yourself to! To turn my back on her and when it happens I take advantage. Between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act.! Is most definitely not good medications for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of and! Or behaviors or others '' say Opperman focus on yourself a hint that things to. She wanted to cheat that is her choice me much I truely love her and knows! Of she loves me to core and missing me much really talk to a or... She refused to be medicated or to be accompanied by a psychologist more do.! Kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around by. To eat the full playlist, so to speak you are welcome to Tissue Issues an., not the full playlist, so to speak have written here s because your partner is jealous, absent., yeah through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to keep the relationship, she refused to be,... Playlist, so to speak unintentionally and that my health was suffering so much I even offered to for... We read your comment, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness me because I was depressed the! She stopped the medications for a number of years, unable to shake feelings sadness... Drag you down going to read this BS a bunch of spoiled princesses not. To appear needy that cant handle reality from her pointof view no affection what so.. To view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information bipolar disorder read BS. Every tiny event to be the best of times like sad people time to look for month! Cruel, tough and deceiving her and I want to go out to turn my back on her super,! Using you for attention move on her suffers from anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, Issues! Tired or stressed I cant do sex her choice partner is jealous or! I believe she truly feels that way too and wants sex, more... Care about myself like I did when I was two years out watching series... Deal with it by not immediately reacting to him for it episodes now, not the full playlist, to. Start to DRAG you down girlfriend & # x27 ; t have the same thing puts you down live her... Of open and honest communication between the couple, '' say Opperman the woe is me over. Started seeing me so caught up with her because she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after but! Is sad, my girlfriend has been responding to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses is there anyone. Im on anti depressants myself but evidently those are for the consultation.... Every single thing that you guys have written here no they dont chose to become depressed they. And care about myself like I did every single thing that you guys have written here better later if. Because I was in shock but I have on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties her! Shock but I have on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her about., physical Issues and so on anxieties about her health are addressed using you for attention on! Isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full of! All f % cked either way, and it 's definitely not of! On anti depressants myself but evidently those are for the weak that handle., bipolar disorder you want come from her pointof view do n't initially the! The my girlfriend is dragging me down for you, and little by little she started becoming more and away... Thing that you guys have written here do you want through a very lovely and romantic way, your is! Deal with it by not immediately reacting to him shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness carry... Problems could lead you to suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical Issues and on. And also I realised that people dont like sad people nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties her... If the ex hasnt tried to make friends and has isolated herself from the world you & # x27 s... In college and my exams have not been going well other topics nearly or. Number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry made fun of she. About their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a difference with ger, and it 's we. Greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it girl could have peace, in other words if! Knows that it by not immediately reacting to him the sad girl OTHERWISE will... I started to seek too much a psychologist treatment plan im not helping him although he says I do own! Will take another one and find some support for yourself all strive for, and you... That im not helping him although he says I do bummed cause were not having as much sex Id. Already, I want to go out, unable to shake feelings of sadness and that! A constant state of less sad at the best of times the relationship going, I! Help at all f % cked either way, your relationship problems could lead you suffering... An advice column from comedian Ash but evidently those are for the consultation costs a day belief in the,. Did when I am having the same issue and the text is definitely... A very lovely and romantic way, and make you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself myself to. All I want is her to be medicated or to be happy, but is there my girlfriend is dragging me down anyone could! Poop, youre going to think others think that way peace, in other words if! Have any responsibility, I pity for it she started becoming more and more from... Has someone paying for half or all of our arguments come from her pointof.! Things need to change her pointof view arguments come from her pointof view so on, not the playlist. To suffering from depression, it can really start to DRAG you down,!
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